Pathfinder - Background story - A Good Vintage

A few of us in our gaming group have been working on different ways to flesh out our characters for Pathfinder. Just to keep ourselves amused in between sessions For my dashing rogue I decided to write up a quick short story. As I figured he has many tall tales to tell...

A Good Vintage

"That makes no sense..."

The light from the fireplace lit up the puzzling expression, extensive makeup, and heaving bosom of the lady as she stared at the gentleman next to her. 

"I mean, why would you want to break into a prison?"

The gentleman looked from side to side and drew closer to the ladies ear, as if he had something of extreme importance to tell her. Then whispered. 

"Well, that is just what I heard from a friend. And I could enlighten you my dear, but information is never free is it? That was the deal?" Said the man with a wink.

The lady scoffed and re-adjusted her gaudy hair piece, before taking a long swig from her wine glass. Which was not her first of the evening, if the glazed look in her eyes was any indication. Then after a long pause she furrowed her brow and turned back to him.

"Ok fine, I'll tell you what I know if you spill the beans on how the bugger did it"

The man smiled, leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers. 

"Well, all we have is hear say, so we must mine what truth there is from the tale. But it began with a cruel prison warden, who had cheated at cards to take home an extremely desirable vintage bottle of port. 

Now, the Warden was a man who liked fine things, but didn't truly appreciate their value or beauty. He just accumulated them in order to appear more important and cultured than he really was. His prison had the most horrid reputation, and he boasted that no one had ever escaped. In general the man was an utter arse."

The lady giggled and hiccuped before allowing the gentleman to continue his tale.

"Now, after a few shady arrangements my friend had allowed himself to get caught for a minor crime, and found himself in a dank and leaky cell. But this was no ordinary cell, but one the thief had managed to leverage through a favor. You see a guard on the inside had been tipped off that his wife was having midnight relations with the Warden. So the guard ensured the thief occupied the pent house suite of cells during his brief stay, and also that he was alone. It was no accident that this was the closest cell to the stairway leading to the Wardens quarters. 

The scoundrel, faced with a locked door, had managed to smuggle in a single lock pick. Via a place that I couldn't possibly discuss with a lady, but rest assured he was relived to recover it and ready it for use. 

Then when all was quiet, he worked the lock with practiced ease and silently pushed the door open, before slinking out into the gloomy passage. Keeping to the shadows and cat-walking across ceiling beams he avoided a guard who was busy cleaning his nails with the tip of his sword, and another who was napping against a wall. But then he came to a real obstacle…"

The lady raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"A door with no key hole or obvious lock… A magical door. "

"Blimey. Now he's screwed." She cackled, and readjusted her puffy dress. 

"Well, yes and no. You see while it was undoubtably a challenge, this was no run of the mill thief stealing trinkets. This was a heist many weeks in the planning, and the magical door was indeed expected. The Warden often boasted about how the finest Wizard money could buy had constructed this door. But what he didn't know was that said Wizard also had a inkling for rare artifacts. Artifacts a gentleman thief might be able to acquire in exchange for information on how one might proceed past a door of magical qualities. 

So after a few glances over his shoulder he whispered the key word in Elvish, and the door opened. A stairway spiraled up and he made haste with muffled footsteps to the top. He allowed himself a wry smile as he surveyed the inner sanctum of the Wardens quarters. Which was decadently decked out in numerous rare pieces of art and glittering trophies. But it was the ominous black safe that drew the eye of our intrepid hero…"

The lady interrupted again. "Wait, where is the Warden in all this?"

"Ah, good question. The Warden had followed up a mysterious love note that invited him to a midnight rendezvous. Being a pig ugly brute, the idiot had fell for it and was probably standing in the middle of a forest with a wilting flower. So our light fingered friend was left to his own devices, and approached the safe.

Which of course was a monstrous thing, that only a master of the night could possibly have a chance to best. But amusingly the Warden had written the code down and kept it within a secret compartment in his desk. Which the thief knew about thanks to a talkative carpenters son in need of advice for the fairer sex. "

The lady interrupted again. "My-my, your friend knows a fair few folks."

"Indeed" The man smiled a wolfish smile and continued. 

"So with the safe easily beaten he eyed the prize, and then made his escape. And here is where the story really falls apart i'm afraid, as the exact details of how on earth he got back out are somewhat murky. People do so enjoy playing with the facts. 

Some say he jumped out the window and rode away on a giant eagle, or that he just walked out the front door dressed up as the Warden himself. Or did he gracefully descend the outside walls with breathless acrobatic ability? We just don't know…"

The gentleman shrugged and then held out his hand to the lady. "You did enquire as to only how he got in though, so I believe my part of the bargain is complete."

The lady narrowed her eyes, smirked, and whisked a piece of paper from her cleavage in an irritated fashion. 

"You Rogue. I guess a deal is a deal, so here you go. This is all I know, so make of it what you will"

"My thanks!" He said, and kissed her hand in an exaggerated manor, before rising from his seat with barely hidden haste. Then made for the door with quick feet. 

"Oi! I never got your name!?" she yelled.

"No, you didn't did you". He said as he pulled on his hood. And then the gentleman was gone into the silvery moonlit night, which to him was still young and very much full of opportunities….